Grief, Love, and Leadership: The Gifts My Dad Left Behind

 If you made a list of the people who influenced your life the most, would you be able to settle on the person at the top of that list?

For me it was my dad. . . and today, April 21st, marks three years since we lost my dad very unexpectedly.

This is more of a "human" post considering the audience and purpose of LinkedIn. And yet I believe one of the great traits of leadership is being "human" and vulnerable, so I feel it's appropriate. This will help you understand me better, as you see who influenced me so greatly.

My dad taught and modelled many things in my life. . .here are three that stand out.

Hard work - In his role as a meat cutter, and everyday in our family and around the home, I don't think I know a harder worker than my dad.

Generosity - Dad was never rich, but he was absolutely rich towards others.

Listening - My Dad was a great conversationalist, because he listened so well.

Those are three character traits I want to carry forward in my own life and pass on to the next generation.

Our hearts will always grieve his passing. There really is an empty seat at our tables, in our conversations, on our walks. His shaping of us exceeds anything words can say. Grief actually is a gift because it is only present where there was deep love.

The photo of him and mom with the flowers is the last shot I took of the two of them, and the one of dad outside his house with his beloved flowers, and that big laugh, the last individual shot of dad I took. I'm so glad we have lots of photos. Lots of memories. Lots of love was shared.

This weekend my sister Melanie Penninga was up in Kelowna to celebrate Easter. She brought Dad's Bible, and gave me two letters I had given dad that he kept in his Bible all these years. One I wrote 25 years ago. I typed it, signed it, on letterhead (I'm a terrible hand-writer!).

I'm so glad we never held off on sharing what mattered, what he meant to me. Not generically, but specifically. And he kept those letters for decades.

Love those around you well. Tell them what they mean. Take pictures. Make memories. Give big hugs. Laugh, listen, cry.

And be grateful for the gift of family, of togetherness.

Love you Dad.